Beyond my mind's tracks
by RoastZombie
Summary: No countdown during the events at the Hive, but instead time for some - more or less - involuntary confessions between two strong women.
1. Confessions

_**Summary:**_

No countdown during the events at the Hive, but instead time for some - more or less - involuntary confessions between two strong women.

_**Disclaimer:**_

I do not own the Resident Evil series or any of the characters

**A/N:** This story contains elements of **strong language** and **femslash**. If you feel offended by any of those, don't read. 

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - Confessions<strong>

Silence enveloped the grey train station that connected the mansion with the Hive's underground complex. The station platform was empty, except for a few black crates without any noteworthy content. They now mainly were a home for a group of rats. These little animals were trapped, just like the five last human beings that had entered the facility some time ago.

Alice and the others had been stuck fro quite a while now.

The computer system, that used to control this part of the Hive, had shut down in order to deny any access to them, but the security programm was still active and kept the main doors locked, preventing them from being opened manually. The team now only had access to the train station through the evacuation route, which was constantly open.

Even an experienced hacker like Kaplan would need some time to manipulate the computer and search for the required data fragments.

Alice, Rain and the rest of the team – Matt, Kaplan and Spence – had retired to the train where Kaplan could take some time to prepare. Alice didn't understand what exactly he was doing, but she put all trust in him, since it was the only solution.

Alice spent the time observing her companions.

Rain was sitting in the back of the wagon playing with her combat knife, as always when she was bored or impatient. The others shared the discontent look on her face. Matt was pacing up and down with his arms crossed keeping his eyes on the floor.

Alice wondered how Kaplan could stay calm while his teammates didn't bother to hide their impatience.

Spence hadn't returned yet; half an hour ago, he had disappeared wihtout saying what he was up to. Hopefully, he was reasonable enough to stay inside the small area around the train station that was safe enough to walk around.

Rain looked up and rolled her eyes.

„Damnit, stop that, you're making me nervous!", she said to Matt, who now had started humming some made up melody.

He stopped and turned towards Rain.

„Excuse me? I'm just trying to kill some time, just like you!"

„At least I'm not getting on everyone's nerves by behaving like a little kid that's waiting for christmas!"

Just like Alice, Matt knew that upsetting Rain was a bad idea, so he just sighed and took a seat next to Alice. They all felt the tension that was slowly building up between them.

Suddenly, Spence entered the train; Alice was surprised to see him smiling.

„Guess what I just found!"

Kaplan, who had been watching the small screen of his pocket computer for almost three hours straight, now looked up.

„Where the hell did you get that?", he asked.

„I found it when I searched the desks at the offices. Someone down here has proven a good taste."

He handed a thick glass bottle with an exfoliated label over to Kaplan and as Alice took a closer look at it, she was able to identify it's content.

„Auchentoshan 18 Year Old scotch whiskey." Spence seemed to be proud of what he had discovered, as though it was a valuable piece of information.

„ … and the poor guy who hid it, didn't even have the chance to enjoy it properly! What a shame!"

The men exchanged quick glances.

„I could use a break while the computer is searching on it's own …", Kaplan said and leaned back in his seat.

„You've got to be kidding me!" Alice was stunned. „What is this, a weekend trip?"

Matt gently took her by the shoulder and whispered:

„Look, they're nervous and we can't change anything about the situation right now. Let them amuse themselves. I'll join them and we can hold night-watch as long as Kaplan's computer thing is collecting the data. Believe me, you'll feel safer then."

He looked at her pleading.

Alice sighed.

„I guess I can't stop you anyway, am I right?"

Matt laughed. „Don't worry, Alice. You got enough things to worry about at the moment. We can look after ourselves, we're all adults."

The time for night watch came; Spence and Matt carried one of the small benches outside and Kaplan looked at the computer screen for one last time.

„If we are lucky, the security system can be bypassed over night.", he said. „Let's just hope for the best!"

„You guys would make a campfire if you could, right?", Alice asked as she watched Spence leaving the train with an arm full of blankets.

Rain stepped beside her.

„I'll join you, guys.", she said immediately. „Everything's better than sitting here and moping around."

_It might be more fun, but I wonder what's more productive_, Alice thought but kept the question to herself.

„So why don't you acompany us, too?", Matt offered her after the others had left, but Alice refused. She had to keep her head clear and wanted to use the absence of the others to think about everything.

„Okay, if you say so...", Matt said slightly disappointed. „But remember, you can come outside whenever you want." Then he walked away.

„Thanks ...", Alice said quietly, before the door closed behind him.

Finally, the wagon wasn't filled with sounds and voices anymore, which was a pleasant feeling for the young woman. For the first time she could let her thoughts flow, make up her mind and try to connect all the pieces.

Time passed by while Alice kept aksing herself the same question over and over:

_Where to look for the missing parts of the puzzle?_

Perhaps, the others had similar thoughts, perhaps, they were talking about them outside, while she was completely isolating herself.

Just at that moment Alice heard a scratching noise from behind, which made her instinctively grab her weapon and turn around.

„Who's there?", she asked loudly, pointing the gun at the door.

Instead of an answer she got a groaning noise, the door opened and Rain entered the room with very unstable steps.

Surprised, Alice lowered her gun. Actually, she had expected Rain to stay outside with the guys and talk about how to continue their mission, but appearently that didn't seem to bother her very much at the moment.

All the questions and thoughts that were rushing through Alice's head before, had been wiped away. Well, maybe not completely; they were still there, but they got pushed in the far background by the growing desire to talk to the tired looking woman who clearly had lost the ambitious look on her face.

But Rain just walked past her as if she hadn't noticed that there was still someone else in the room.

_Looks like I'm not the only one who's looking for a little bit of solitude_, Alice thought.

As Rain came closer, Alice immidiately noticed the sharp stench of alcohol that almost made her feel dizzy by just smelling it and she involuntary backed off. She tried to catch a glimpse of Rain's face, but the narrow curtain of black hair that covered it made it impossible to make any eye contact.

„Rain … what's wrong..?", Alice asked carefully, although she was not quiet sure if it was a good idea to call Rain's attention on her when she was obviously in a bad mood.

But there was still no reaction comming from the dark-haired woman, who now took off her jacket and threw it in the corner.

It was a pretty awkward moment that nearly lasted for about half a minute before Rain finally spoke:

„What are you doin' in´here?", she mumbeled while her back was still turned on Alice.

„Shouldn't you be outside?"

Surprisingly, her voice sounded rather sad than stressed out, which confused Alice even more.

„Uhm, actually, I was just about to ask you the same ..."

Little by little, Alice started to wonder, if there was something wrong with her. The way Rain reacted, unsettled her more than the fact that she had recently lost her memory and had woken up inside this huge manor with only a few hints of her past. Perhaps, she was supposed to find some more answers down at the Hive.

Rain turned towards her. Her hair was all messy and from the glassy shine in her eyes Alice could tell that she must have been hitting the bottle a little too hard.

„Hmpf, why do you even care?"

After a short moment of astonishment, Alice simply deceided not to ask any further questions. Instead, she helped Rain sitting down on the last small bit of clean floor that was left, to avoid any possible accidents that doubtless would have occurred otherwise.

Then she settled down next to her, still in hopes of getting something like a conversation started.

Yet, Rain kept her drooping eyes straight to the ground almost mesmerized and even the greatest mind reader on earth would have failed to look through them.

Inwardly, Alice had to admit, that this characteristic trait had always appealed to her in some way and sometimes it even managed to make her nervous …

„Rain, what is it? I do care, just tell me..."

There's not much to tell! No wonder, we've reached nothing in this fuckin' dump!" Rain's voice was flooded by anger. „A waste of time … a waste of lives."

Her words made Alice remember all the companions of the squad, who had lost their lives for what they wanted to achieve.

Rain continued with a quivering voice:

„Now I know why they sent us for this mission … 'cause we're expendable. I bet they already knew that we'd get fooled by those damn computers ..."

She let out a drunk snicker. „And that's what all the exercises were for!"

Desperately, Alice tried to find an appropriate way to show compassion, but the only thing she could do was telling Rain what she had kept tellling herself four hours:

„Listen, we can't do anything as long as this place is shut down. Tomorrow, mm² will try to switch the computer back on to deactivate the security system. Until then, we can only wait. Try to get some sleep ..."

Rain looked at her and then silently shook her head.

„I don't wanna sleep … Shall I tell you why?"

She didn't wait for an answer.

„'Cause I'm afraid of closing my eyes … Those damn images in my head keep me awake since I've seen him dying ..."

Alice immidiately knew, who Rain was talking about. She has almost pushed the terrible sight of J.D. being eaten alive to the back of her mind, but she knew that he and Rain had been very close to each other.

Rain burried her face in her hands.

„The way he looked at me when those fucking things grabbed him and tore him apart … I could've helped him, but I- ..."

Her hands started shaking.

„We held you back because we were afraid of losing you as well.", Alice said quickly. „It wasn't your fault, they were too many ..."

„But they're still just filthy, braindead zombies. Damn, I'm not even able to defend my team against walking corpses! After all that training ..."

Then, Rain said something, Alice never would have expected from her:

„You got no idea what I'd give to be in your shoes ... If I could simply forget everything I fucked up, then I probably wouldn't sit here complaining like … a pathetic loser!"

She bowed her head.

Alice remained silent for a moment, searching for words. For now she could do nothing but just look at this woman who always used to appear tough and unreachable but now seemed so insecure and - Alice just couldn't find an other word for it – simply human.

She put her arm around her, a gesture Rain probably never would have tolerated under normal circumstances. Even now, for a split second, Alice almost feared that Rain would immediately refuse this touch, but she just acted as if it was nothing unusual. It almost seemed as if she was asking for some understanding after all those unexpected confessions.

„Now you probably think I'm a crybaby, don't you..?", Rain muttered, filled with bitterness.

Alice shook her head.

„ No, I just believe that knowing where you failed gives you the possibillity to make it better next time. You can't undo your mistakes but you can avoid making more... I wish I could do that..."

Rain looked up to her and a flimsy smile appeared on her slightly reddened face.

„You're alright, aren't you?"

Her smile turned into a grin.

„Tryin' to console me ..."

Alice couldn't tell if it was just the effect of drinking or if it was really a tear of sadness filling one of her eyes.

„You just need some rest...", she said inwardly, trying to hide the helplessness that suddenly creeped over her like a shower of cold water.

She was certain, that at this moment she would rather want to face a bunch of those hungry, brainless creatures, that were roaming through the facility, because in that case she would at least know what to do.

Now however, she was facing one of those problems that couldn't be solved that easy.

„Nah, I don't need any rest ..."

„Wait, you can't get up ..."

Rain staggered as she tried to rise.

_Even now she proves her stubbornness_, Alice tought slightly amused and quickly took her by the arm.

After her unsuccessful attempt at standing up, Rain plunked back on the ground, right into Alice's arms, but she didn't seem to care.

Her calm, steady breathing was the only sound that filled the dimly lit room for almost five minutes.

Alice sensed it as intensely as though it were her's; a gente airflow against her bare shoulder.

„It's alright, I'll take care of you and I won't tell anybody ..."

She just kept talking; it somehow helped her to deal with this odd situation, even though she had no idea, if Rain was paying any attention to her words.

„Maybe we're not as different as I believed at first... It's been a hard time for both of us, why can't we just share our experiences as long as we're in this together..?"

With every word Alice spoke, Rain sank deeper into her arms. Alice had never felt so protective before, not to mention this yet unknown attraction that grabbed her, as this warm, slender body slightly rubbed against her's.

A clicking sound revealed that all lights inside the facility just turned off automatically, as they always used to do to save energy.

It gave Alice an uncomfortable feeling of being cut off from the outside world … A feeling of being completely unprotected, although there were trained soldiers with her, of which one had just fallen asleep in her arms.

Alice was a bit surprised how different a person could look while sleeping.

So fragile, so innocent ...

She stroked Rain's hair and sighed.

„Tomorrow you'll probably have a headache and won't be able to remember a single thing...", she whispered regretfully.

„That's too bad, I wish I had more opportunities to get to know this side of you … Even if I know you'd never let me ..."

Alice didn't know how long they had been sitting there; she had completely lost her sense of time, but from the watch on Rain's wrist she could tell that it was nearly 1 a.m.

A sudden fatigue made her eyelids feel heavy, causing the feeling that every blink was about to let her fall asleep. Also the inability to move kept her from an alert position.

She looked down on the woman in her arms, but before she could be overcome with her feelings again, her tired eyes closed for the first time since she had left the mansion.

It wasn't a dreamless sleep; it felt more like a swirl of visions and images, some consisting of horribly deformed figures, crawling through Alice's head making noises, others simply pacifying and somewhat beautiful.

Sometimes, they were accompanied by disembodied voices, which sounded as if they were argueing about something, Alice could not understand.

„_It's controling you. You aren't yourself anymore! Concentrate on what you're supposed to do!"_

„_It has nothing to do with her!"_

„_You can't see, concentrate! They're watching you … every single weakness of yours! Resist! Now!"_

„Where are they?"

„They're still inside the train ..."

„Both of them?"

„Yeah …"

The voices that just had haunted Alice's dreams had changed; they now came from a different direction, somewhere from the outside of her head.

It took her a few seconds to realize that it were the guy's voices from beyond the door which must have woken her up, smudging the small line between dream and reality.

For Alice, they just consisted of incoherent pieces without any meaning. She was even willing to simply agree to every plan the others would coceive.

_How far has it come already? _Soon, her insecurity gave way to helpless anger. _Why can't I just stop being so damn selfish? My feelings don't matter at all down here …_

But was it really selfishness that was messing her up?

Wasn't the reason lying right there … in her arms?

Footsteps that were slowly getting closer suddenly interrupted her thoughts and made her come back to the present.

Trying not to wake Rain up, Alice turned around and through the small piece of glass in the middle of the door she noticed that the lights outside had been switched on again.

Night had passed quite fast but she didn't feel tired at all; her brain was busy recalling what exactly had happened.

_What about Rain, what will she remember_, was the last thing she could wonder before the door was opened.

„Hey … you're awake already?", Matt's voice asked quietly through the door crack.

„We're planning to move on in about an hour, are you okay with that...?"

Alice just nodded.

„I'll meet up with you as soon as I'm ready.", she then added quickly because Matt was still standing on the same spot, looking at her a bit worried.

„Alright ...", he then answered, turned around and disappeared through the door, but not without taking a swift glance back.

Alice wasn't sure what exactly Matt had seen and what it must have looked like, but there was no doubt that it had confused him.

His words that echoed in her thoughts made her come back to sanity for at least a while.

_Rain surely will need some time to prepare, hopefully she's alright after that night ... Otherwise, we could lose time..._

„Rain ..." Softly, Alice stroke her cheeks with her fingertips.

The pressure to move on with their mission had finally defeated the fear about how her partner would react.

„Rain, wake up ..."

The sleeper's mouth stood slightly open and her breathing was heavy. She seemed to be totally worn out.

Alice's fingers slowly floated down Rain's cheeks until they reached her lips.

The blonde hesitated shortly.

Time stood still for a moment, but nevertheless, she now felt her face moving towards the spot she was about to touch with her fingers, driven by a force she wasn't able to resist.

Only a few millimeters left ...

Then, those lips suddenly made a sound.

„What the ..."

Alice flinched and looked into Rain's wide opened eyes.

Rain jumped up as if Alice had delt an electric shock to her, but her body clearly didn't seem to be prepared for such a sudden movement; she could barely keep herself on her feet.

Alice lifted her hands.

„Easy..."

Rain looked at Alice as though she had transformed into something gross.

„What the hell happened!"

Alice was so amused by the look on her face that she couldn't help herself answering the question for her:

„Well, when you came here, you were pretty much wasted, we talked and then you came cuddling. No big deal.", she added quickly as she noticed Rain's face changing from disgusted to simply shocked.

„What the fuck!"

„I'm afraid it didn't get that far..."

Rain turned away but Alice still could see how hard she was trying to recall her memories.

„Hey, look, it's nothing bad .. no need to get angry."

She reached out her hand but before she could touch Rain's shoulder, the black haired spun around and hissed:

„Listen, whatever I told you, it's none of your fuckin' business, understood! Don't think I'd take any stupid advices from you! I'm just fine ..."

Alice looked at her both quizzically and a bit challenging.

„So if you're just fine, why are you bitching about it then? Not really typical for you ..."

Meanwhile, she was tired of showing understanding.

„I've been sitting here the whole time, thinking about all the things you told me -..."

„Oh wow!", Rain cut her off. „What a hero we got here! Not only fighting evil zombies, but also so concerned about other people's feelings! We're all so lucky!"

Her eyes were nearly electrified with cynicism.

Nevertheless, Alice could read the signs of fear in the last angry stare Rain gave her before she left the room, slamming the door with a loud bang.

For the first time, Alice felt how cold it actually was in that little wagon ...


	2. Unconscious

_**Chapter 2 - Unconscious**_

After they had packed the most important equipment together, the team left the station to enter the next level of the Hive, one step closer to the Red Queen they were supposed to shut down.

Beyond the station lie a dark passageway that resembled a delivery entrance. Perhaps, the lightning had intentionally been dimmed to protect some of the sensitive chemicals the scientists had used.

Alice couldn't stop watching Rain closely: She looked peaky but kept a straight face all the time as if nothing had happened.

All of a sudden, her flashlight slipped from her hands; she felt the looks of the others directed at her as she bent down to pick it up again.

_Why can't I just stop making a damn fool out of myself?_

She saw Rain raising her eyebrows and heard her say:

„Let's hope that won't happen when it gets serious. Wouldn't be to our best advantage, would it?"

_She's so right ..._

Alice gulped and tried to concentrate on the small cones of light coming out of their flashlights and blazing a trail through the darkness.

Although accomplishing this mission had highest prority, both women were unable to concentrate fully, for all sorts of reasons.

There they were, milling around like ants and looking for a needle in a haystack. With Matt looking at her as though she could drop dead every second and with Rain, who was completely ignoring her, Alice didn't feel safe at all.

„Haven't we been here before?", Spence suddenly asked as they reached a big black double door.

Silence. It seemed like none of them wanted to admit that they had been running in circles, although everyone knew by now. The smeared map on the wall behind them couldn't provide any information as well.

Kaplan cursed. „This is pointless!"

„Why don't we split up?", Matt suggested and looked at Alice as if he was hoping that she would agree.

„Alright then, I'm going with Kaplan!", Rain said at once and Alice could have sworn, that Rain was watching her from the corner of her eye.

„You and Kaplan are the most experienced of us all.", Matt replied. „It would be better if each of you goes with either Alice or me."

With these words he nodded to Kaplan and the two men instantly headed in the opposite direction.

As Matt looked back, he noticed, that Alice and Rain hadn't moved yet.

„What's wrong, ladies? That's not a problem or is it?", he asked carefully.

When their eyes met, it was like a lake that got struck by lightning.

„If I have to ...", Rain then grumbled …

„You're coming with us!", Kaplan said sharply, pointing at Spence. „We're keeping an eye on you just in case."

Spence followed them, albeit grudgingly.

Rain walked along the corridor with huge and fast steps; Alice was barely able to follow her.

„Hey, wait up!"

„If you can't keep up, then stay right here and let those friendly former Umbrella workers help you out ..."

Rain voice couldn't have sounded colder.

„Damn, Rain, wait! Stop being so childish, this is not the right time..!"

Any attempt to make her partner slow down failed. Nearly out of breath, Alice leaned against a wall, hoping that sooner or later Rain would come to her senses again.

Dizziness descended on her. She closed her eyes waiting for her head to stop spinning.

Her hands were shaking.

As she became clear-headed again, she nearly sensed the oppressive silence. No footsteps; even the water flow inside the pipes alongside the ceiling seemed to have stopped.

Her partner had left her behind …

Rain was gone.

Alice didn't dare to shout her name.

For the first time since she had entered the facility, she remembered what it was like to be really scared. She was still able to defend herself, but that was not the point. Solitude now preyed on her mind stronger than before, making her feel weak, almost naked.

There was just one way to go: straight ahead and closer to the core.

With a pale hand, Alice drew her weapon, prepared to find everything but Rain ...

Even though she couldn't really tell a difference between all the corridors that led through the complex, she was certain that they hadn't searched this part before.

The air was muggy, mixed with the stench of mold; it almost seemed like the walls and floors had become infected as well. Since Alice had no clue where Rain had gone, there was no other way than trying every single door on the corridor that lay ahead.

She could barely keep her hands calm as she opened the first door on the left that led her into a frigid room, not much bigger than a broom closet.

It was empty, except for a couple of lockers on the opposite wall, but something about this room made Alice feel even more nervous; perhaps there was more than dirt and rust lurking in the corners.

_Or maybe I'm just going insane …_

She grew stiff as she felt a warm breath against her neck.

„Rain -..?"

But it wasn't Rain who twined her arms around Alice, trying to wrestle her on the floor.

Alice fell; lying on the ground, she quickly turned around to face her attacker, who now made a beeline for her.

Her aiming wasn't as steady as it used to be; it took far more shots than usual, before the infected plunked down on the cold, stone-flagged floor.

Terrified, Alice got up and checked her bare arms for any scratches, that could allow the deadly virus to gain access to her blood. But then, she breathed a sigh of relief: The zombie hadn't managed to harm her.

Still a bit in shock, she walked out of the room backwards to keep an eye on the motionless body, not turning around until something touched her back.

He stood right in front of her: A fat, broad-shouldered man with a dirty green jacket and yellow rotten skin. Nearly all of his hair had been burnt from his head, only a few dirty stubbles were left. He looked like he always had been a pretty unpleasant person.

Before Alice was able to lift her gun, he knocked her down with a single punch of his putrid fist. Alice felt the taste of her own blood as she hit the ground.

Lying on her back, Alice tried to kick her attacker to prevent him from biting her. The first kick found his way directly into the undead's deformed face, but except for a disgusting sound, it had no effect.

Alice's gun lay between his feet, impossible to reach. The bald-headed didn't back off, instead, he grabbed Alice's ankle trying to pull her towards him.

A sharp cracking sound cut through the air; Alice breathed heavily. She had managed to break free, but still wasn't able to move, almost paralyzed by the sudden pain of her wrenched ankle.

Of course, the noises of the fight didn't remain unheard.

Through a veil of pain, Alice saw a group of infected staggering towards her. As she tried to pull herself up, her head bumped against something hard. Nearly unconscious, she crawled along the corridor with her left ankle sticking out in a strange way.

She was alone, nobody could see how weak and defenseless she was right now, despite, she felt humiliated and her will to survive on her own slowly got dominated by the desire to cry for help.

The desire to shout _her_ name one last time …

The last sound that got to her ear, was loud gunfire followed by cursing. Her vision became blurry; she only noticed a rough silhouette of someone running towards her.

Then, pain took over and her eyes closed …

„God damn it..!"

Rain's harsh words revived her numb head. She wasn't able to recognize, where exactly they came from, but they and the smell of sweat told her, that she was not alone anymore.

Her sense of smell slowly returned and so did the pain in her leg, that was about to make her faint again.

But she didn't even feel her legs move, like she was carried by something …

„Geez girl, you're heavier than you look ..."

„Rain ..."

Her saviour's name came out of Alice's mouth like a weak breeze.

„Yeah, I'm here. Just hold on tight now ..."

Alice did as she was told.

Rain had made sure that there was nothing more left of Alice's attacker's than the stink of rotten flesh and a few bodies pierced by bullets, never able to rise again. Alice didn't dare to imagine what would have happened if her partner hadn't shown up. Only a few seconds later and it would have been Rain's duty to shoot her aswell …

„You haven't been bitten, have you?", Rain asked opening the door that led out on the corridor with one hand while preventing Alice to slip off her shoulder with the other hand.

„No.", Alice answered and wrapped her arm around Rain's neck.

„Strangling me won't get you out of here ..."

Seconds after they had steped out on the long illuminated corridor, the door slammed behind them, followed by a noise from a very small distance.

„We've got to get away from here ...", Rain whispered nervously.

Then they came, attracted by the smell of human flesh and reaching out their crippled limbs for the two women. For Alice, it was like seeing the disfigured faces from her dreams again, that had just walked around the corner.

Blanking out the pain, she tried to move her feet as fast as possible, but all attempts failed and were rather hindering. A few bullets, fired from Rain's pistol, directly hit their targets.

„Shit, I'm almost out of ammo!", she cursed.

Alice snatched at her weapon and tried to shoot over Rain's shoulder. She couldn't stand to be almost uninvolved.

„Stop goofing around!", Rain shouted. „I can handle it!"

„Where are we going?", Alice wheezed.

„The train station isn't far from here! You and I are gonna meet the others there, now stop asking!" Rain was completely out of breath.

„Here, take her and give me a freakin' decent weapon!", Rain shouted when the others finally came into sight.

Even through the gunfire of Kaplan's rifle, her voice sounded so clear.

Seconds later, Alice found herself in Matt's arms while Rain helped defending her hideout. Once more, Alice felt the desire to block any sounds from her environment and covered her ears until the last of the infected had found his final rest.

„Never run around without a map, I guess that's what we learned today ...", Spence said fretfully when everything had clamed down. „At least, Kaplan has found one between all the data stuff. He wants to download it before we continue."

He looked around. „Whatever ...", he then said apparently offended as none of the women showed a reaction. „I think I'm just gonna wait inside the train, just in case you suddenly need me ..."

Then he followed Kaplan inside.

„Some guys can really be a pain in the ass.", was Rain's only comment.

Matt carefully took care of Alice's ankle, while Rain observed his every movement.

„Are you alright?", he asked as he put a pile of blankets under her foot to hold it up high. He was visibly unsettled by Rain's sharp glances.

„Yes, it's getting better now, thanks ...", Alice replied. Inwardly, she just wished that he would disappear, even if he just wanted to be kind. His presence only made the whole situation more difficult.

Without any words, Rain managed to signalize him that she wanted him to leave them alone.

„Uhm, I guess I'm gonna go see Kaplan about the map, huh?", he asked her and she nodded, once again wordlessly.

„Thanks ...", Alice said after Matt had gone. „I really need some rest after all this."

„So do I.", Rain answered tersely. She seemed to have something on her mind she hadn't shared with anyone yet. Hiding her curiosity had always been difficult for Alice, especially now.

After a couple of seconds however, Rain stood up from the crate she had been sitting on and sat down on the blanket next to Alice.

„I've been pretty rude earlier I suppose … I don't know why but I … I think I have to apologize."

Alice looked at her a bit surprised but then she had to smile.

„Were you afraid of being alone with me again?"

„No!" Rain almost sounded desperate.

„It only would've been a bit suspicious, don't you see? I bet the guys have already noticed ..."

Since the pain had decreased, Alice's perception now worked almost as good as usually. There was no doubt that Rain was struggling to continue talking.

„Noticed what?", Alice asked, trying hardly not to make her feel even more insecure.

„That I actually care about you."

It was probably the first time that they looked each other in the eyes for more than three seconds.

Alice wasn't sure, but Rain already seemed to regret what she had just said.

„But, … what's so bad about that..?"

For Alice, the feeling of being right had never caused so much pain before. She felt ashamed of her own whiny voice; it sounded so weird to her, almost distorted.

In the end, she could do nothing but allow her emotions to break free.

„Just do me a favour and don't start crying now, for god's sake ..."

The sudden warmth that lay inside Rain's eyes covered the seriousness in her voice and dried the tears that had apperared on Alice's face.

„I just didn't know that you actually care about anyone of us ...", Alice admitted, quickly wiping them away.

„Why else would I sit here next to you like a guard dog?"

Alice couldn't suppress a girlish snicker as she realized that Rain was probably right.

„Yeah, I know, I'm incredibly funny ..." Rain rolled her eyes but then grinned.

Though, this grin had nothing cynical at all.

„But why did you leave me in the first place?", Alice asked, still confused. „All this wouldn't have happened, if- ..."

„I didn't mean to leave you, silly! I just wanted to check if there are any of these damn things nearby and then suddenly you were gone. All I wanted to do was keeping y- … uhm, _us_ save. Seriously, do you really consider me such an asshole?"

Rain gave her an almost reproachful look.

Alice shrugged her shoulders.

„Maybe.", she then answered with a smile and Rain laughed.

„Yeah, maybe we should leave it at that!"

In the next few minutes, the atmosphere loosened a bit; some laughters really were able to make a change, at least for a little while.

„I'm feeling better already ... maybe we should go to meet Kaplan, too?", Alice suggested, trying to stand up, but Rain smoothly held her back.

„You're not going anywhere, girl ..."

Alice looked her in the eye, but again she wasn't able to see what Rain was up to.

„And why not?", she asked.

Rain kneeled directly in front of her and gently ran her finger around her lips.

„Cuz I say so ..."

Alice didn't want to contradict, her only answer was a soft breathing against Rain's fingertips while she was sinking into this pair of dark eyes

It was a completely different feeling to be so close to Rain when she was fully conscious.

„I never told you, but I like how you can keep things to yourself … And I hope you'll do the same after this ..."

Rain quickly took a look around as if to make sure nobody was watching. Then, with a whispered „Hold still ...", she kissed Alice on the lips.

It was one of those kisses, that were more than just a passionate gesture. Rain put all the pain in it that she had endured, all the feelings that were so difficult for her to express in words. Nevertheless, she kept a certain physical distance to her partner; no hug, no tender touches, even her eyes seemed to caress only Alice's lips with soft glances.

Maybe, it was up to Alice to break this barrier, that still existed between the two women.

Alice sensed Rain's astonishment as she slowly leaned forward during their kiss, in order to let her hands slither up Rain's back and then softly tickle her neck.

Rain obviously hadn't expected a reaction from Alice. She detached herself from her, but Alice, now finally a bit encouraged, smiled at her and stroked her cheek.

„You gotta remember one thing: I have responsibility for you, nothing more. And don't you forget it ..."

Rain's voice, which had all of a sudden turned frigid again, put a stop to the tender touches. Alice could't help feeling a degrading shame as Rain talked to her like that.

She hadn't known her long, but she knew that 'I have resposibility for you' was equal to 'I own you'.

But wasn't that true?

„You feel superior to me, don't you?" Alice's words sounded plain-spoken, but she didn't care.

„If I did, I'd probably command you to keep away from that asshole in there.", Rain muttered, nodding towards the train.

„But what's your problem? Matt is a nice guy and he- ..."

„I aint talking about Matt."

Rain's anwer perplexed Alice. Spence had made her some compliments from time to time when they had been alone, but not much more, even though they seemed to have a common past.

„I barely remember anything about Spence and I ..."

Alice stopped, not knowing what to say. 'I barely know you, too'?

„Exactly." Rain didn't wait for her to finish her sentence. „I got a bad feeling about him and not only because he makes such clumsy attempts at hitting on women. Someone like me might not have a good influence on you, but neither has he."

Inevitably, Alice remembered the voices from her dream and their demands.

Did they have somthing to do with her amnesia?

„For me, it feels like a huge part of my life has suddenly been completely erased. I must deceide for myself about the small bit I remember. That's the only way to find back to my past."

To Alice, these words sounded like they were spoken by someone else, but in the end, she was glad about what she had said, because it showed her, that she hadn't completely lost her mind yet.

Rain sighed, yet, she didn't make a move to contradict.

„Then at least accept this as my thanks for keepin' your mouth shut about last night.", she said instead.

Again, their lips met and this time, Alice felt Rain's hands sliding down her breasts, arousing her with circling movements. She didn't waste much thought about them being heard as she let out a loud moan.

„Sshh, relax ...", Rain whispered and smirked. „We don't want your beloved husband to find out, right?"

_I don't care. Just one last time._

Right now there was no inner voice trying to hold her back; her desperate wish had been fulfiled, nothing prevented her from one last sweet sin.

Rationality was absolutely redundant in the presence of this woman.

„What a bullheaded bitch you are ...", Rain whispered in Alice's ear and kissed her throat.

„ … just like me."

Through Rain's lips on her skin, Alice sensed how much Rain enjoyed teasing her.

_Don't stop! Don't stop talking to me! _

„Maybe it's better if you don't get too attached to me anyway.", Rain said after another kiss. „You saw what happens to people who do that."

Alice had no chance to respond, a squeaking noise told her that the train door had just been opened.

Rain and Alice hastily moved apart as they heard Spence's voice:

„Ladies, let's move on, we're done here!"

„Speaking of bitches ...", Rain grumbled with a scornful glance.

Alice bowed her head. The sudden loss of physical closeness was like a slap in the face, even Matt's friendly words couldn't console her for that.

„How's your ankle?", he asked her quietly. „Can you get up?"

„It's okay, you took good care of it."

„Thanks.", Matt smiled while helping her back on her feet. „But I'm not a professional, you should go to the doc as soon as we're out of here, just in case."

„I will ...", Alice promised; somehow, the muscles of her distressed face managed to form a smile.

Impatiently, Rain looked at her watch.

„I thought we're done here?"

It looked like she wanted to distract from the fact that this situation was very uncomfortable for her as well. Alice highly appreciated that the others ignored it without any comment.

For one last time, Kaplan opened the heavy door on the south wall of the station with the help from his pocket computer. No one knew, if they would ever see this place again, but at least for Alice it didn't matter. The dirty grey walls were connected with so many odd memories by now.

Kaplan, Matt and Spence went first, meanwhile, the two women stayed back for a few seconds, exchanging one last glance. None of them seemed to be willing to make the first step out on the passageway that was still cloaked in darkness.

Then, Rain stepped aside, not taking her eyes off Alice.

„After you.", she just said with a face that bared no emotions at all before they followed the men through the metal door.


	3. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

Plain white walls, a sharp, stinging pain rushing through her stiff limbs and a flash of light that was way too bright for her eyes, intensified by the reflections coming from a huge glass panel on the opposite of the room.

Alice's sense perception almost suffered from overstimulation when she cast up her eyes nearly mechanically.

Her mirror image was the last thing she saw before she sat up and emitted a horrible cry that cut through the unbearable silence. Hearing her own voice somehow clamed her down; as is known, a dead could neither scream nor feel pain. Still, something was terribly wrong about the state she was in. Something unfamiliar was pounding inside her veins, but she wasn't even able to tell if it was good or bad, apart from her muscles that were aching all over.

With every single heartbeat, a well known face appeared in her mind's eye.

Tired, sweaty, pale, covered by a few thin skeins of black hair.

_She is dead_.

Three words that made it more than clear.

Alice bowed her head as the memories of past events overtook her again like a time lapse movie scene.

_I promised to deal with her if the antidote wouldn't work_, she thought embittered. … _but I couldn't fulfil her wish. I couldn't fulfil any of her wishes!_

The advice about Spence not being trustworthy came back into her memory as well. Finally, Alice catched the point of the warnings the voices had given her during her sleep.

It had been all about him, the man who had erred her perception althought she had been warned.

Now, there was no possibillity left to thank this one person who had been proven right.

She tried to erase the vision of Rain – the woman she had fallen in love with – out of her sight with the blink of her eyes.

As she did, she couldn't stop the tears that now silently fell on the edge of her steely medical stretcher.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I hope you enjoyed the story. This was actually my first attempt at writing an English fanfiction and if you can spot any major mistakes (no typos), feel free to correct me since English isn't my first language.  
>Perhaps I'm going to translate the story into German one day, but it might take some time.<p>

Greets,  
>RoastZombie<p> 


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